I would like to share my testimony on how I came back in to the church. First let me say this is not "my" testimony but rather a testimony of the power of JESUS and His working in my life.
I posted part of my testimony over on the addiction part of this site so if you have read it please bear with me. That was only part of what JESUS has done for me.
I was raised an SDA, my dad was an adventist pastor. I was raised in a home and church environment that was very overbearing and personally degrading. Very little love and training but lots of discipline. because of this my image of GOD became one of a very severe and harsh, unforgiving god. Because of this I developed an image of myself as bad and unforgivable. Sataan had me where he wanted me.
I went to SDA schools all the way through college. Along the way I learned to smoke, chew tobacco, drink(lots), and use drugs. I turned my back completely on GOD. As soon as I got out of school and no longer "had" to go to church, I left the church completely.
After college I quit using drugs but continued drinking heavily, partying pretty much at every opportunity I had. I know now that I was running, searching, looking for answeres but not knowing where to turn. My image of GOD was so bad that I refused to look to Him but yet I was miserable. For anyone who has been in this position you know how miserable it is.
After about 10 years of this I quit drinking. Up to that point I loved drinking, but it was destroying me, I new I should quit and started trying to cut back but had not quit completely. one day I bought a 6 pak of beer, brought it home and took a swig. For some reason that day something happened to me. As I started drinking it was as if someone flipped a switch. That beer was the worst thing I had ever had. I had this moment of clarity as to the destructive power of alcohol. From that day forward I have had an intense dislike for alcohol. This was 5 years before I gave my life to JESUS. I beleive He Knew it was time and gave me what I needed to quit even though I had not asked for it.
I continued chewing tobacco amd searching. About one year ago someone from the local church gave me a set of Doug Batchelor tapes.
I watched them and decided to honestly try GOD for myself. I started reading the bible and praying. I knew I needed to quit chewing but I had been unable to. I had tried many times over the years without success.Finally I prayed to GOD and told him I knew I needed to quit but that I couldn't. I told Him that in all honesty I liked chewing and deep down I didn't really want to quit and that if he wanted me to quit he would have to do something because I was powerless. The nicotine addiction is powerful, don't let anybody kid you about it.
Well the next day I literally had amnesia, I didn't remember that I chewed. All day I had no conscious thought of tobacco. This is very important because before I had never been able to get through the first day. GOD took my addiction away, it is as simple as that. That was one year ago.
Needless to say I was excited and thanking GOD. This was a powerful experience and made me believe in the power of GOD.
I decided to get rebaptized.
Have you ever heard of the calm before the storm? Once I made the decision to get baptized, things started going terribly bad. I started fighting a spiritual battle that I cannot describe adequately in words. I became severely depressed and was assulted with thoughts that the bible is a hoax, there really is no GOD, If there was a GOD it was too late for me, all sorts of powerful negative thoughts. I couldnt sleep, I couldnt work, I had to take a month off from work. It was miserable.
I started praying like never before. I learned that prayer is the key to surviving the attacks of sataan. I went ahead with my baptism in the middle of this even though it was a struggle to go ahead with it.
Several weeks after my baptism, one night about 1 am, I was unable to sleep and had gotten up for a drink of water. I had really been struggling spiritually. As I went back to bed I got an impression to read psalms 31. I got up and read it. It is a prayer of faith in difficult times. I was amazed at how much that chapter spoke to me. I turned the light out and went back to bed. Again I got an impression to read psalms 51. I got up and read it. It is a prayer of repentance. GOD was telling me I needed to have faith and repentance. I was amazed. I went back to bed. Again I got an impression to read matthew 24. I got up and read it. It is the discourse of JESUS on the time of the end/time of trouble. This kind of confused me. I couldn't figure it out so I went back to bed. Again I got an impresson to read Ezekiel 36. I got up and read it. At first I didn't understand what GOD was trying to tell me. It took me a while to figure out what GOD was telling me.Ezekiel 36:25 Then I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean; I will cleanse you from all your filthiness and from all your idols. 26. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. 27. I will put My spirit within you and cause you to walk in my statutes, and you will keep my judgements and do them.- GOD was telling me to have faith and repentance and he would bring me through my time of trouble and give me a new heart and a new spirit(born again).
I cannot begin to tell you how powerful this experience has been for me. I feel I was given a direct promise from GOD.Over the next several weeks the same thing happened to me but with the book Desire of Ages. I would be having a hard time and I would get an impression to read a certain page or pages in the book and it would be exactly what I needed to hear.(this also cleared up for me as to whether or not EGW is inspired).
Those were difficult days but the power of GOD prevailed. It has been tough coming back in to a church I had so much anger towards, but I have learned that my relationship with JESUS is not about the church. It is just me and HIM and that is all that matters.
We need to remember that without the power of the HOLY SPIRIT anything we say or do, even if it is truth, is powerless.
There are many people out there who like myself, have had a bad experience with the church. GOD can reach them if they let Him. His love and power is beyond our comprehension. We just need to be careful that people see CHRIST in our lives and not ourselves.
sorry this post is so long, I just wanted to share how GOD has worked in my life.
May GOD bless each of you in your lives and witness.
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theo