WendyF,
It hurts me as much as it does you to see one who has started a new way of life going back to the old habits. I am sorry for this happening to your guy with this smoking problem. Thank you though for sharing this with us so we can support you and him in prayer as the Grace of God reaches down again to give him the needed understanding and help in his need to connect to the source of freedom again.
Something happened just prior to his reaching to his first cig after 17 months of abstinance. It is necessary for you to help him put into words just what that stress moment was. What was the cause? He was unconsciously led to rememberances of automaticly reaching for a cig in such a situation and it forced him to start again. Ask him to mentally go over that moment of tempation and speak outloud what stimulant of memory, or place of visiting, or smell, or emotional conflict with others, and which wrong thinking pattern triggered off the desire to reach for a cig to calm him. The habit of using cigs for emotional support was broken by him 17 months after giving his attention to who Jesus is and what He can do for him. It can happen again. Give him this for comfort.
Something happened that your guy's eyes turned away from Jesus and his imagination got filled up with either fear, worry, stress, or something that was part of his pattern of thinking in the 'before knowing Christ' life style. Just get him to try to do the following :
1. Recognize and verbly say what triggered off the emotional drive for a cig.
2. Avoid coming into contact with the source of tempation so that good habits of non-smoking can grow within one
3. Often the stimulant which triggers off the urge for a cig can't be avoided. So one must work on the thought world of the individual.
4. Make a verbal renewal of the same decision to give up smoking in the power of Jesus which took place 17 months ago.
5. Read everything possible that gives one the mind of who God is in Jesus. The mind is then so cleansed by the word of God that the strength to overcome is greater.
6. Tell him it is nothing to be ashamed of in a way of total resignation of being rejected by God or the other christians because he has started again. Tell him that there is someone who will put his arm around him and pray for him to break the habit again. That person is Jesus. He is interceeding for him already in heaven. But it would be nice if you could get a man who loves your husband to come and prayer acusticly with him for helping his mind to take in the reality of what is going on in the heavenlies pertaining to the spiritual battle for releasing children of God from evil powers. Then a loving hug afterwards between the two guys builds up the healthy sense of being loved and accepted that even guys need.
7. The thought that he is lighting up a cig for offering it to Jesus to smoke (get him to strongly visualize this) will be also a deterent from doing so if the guy of yours has enough mental awareness of how beautiful clean and loving Jesus is to him. The 'ye are the temple of God' truth supports this. If someone hasn't counselled him about how to pray to be filled with the Spirit of God then do get someone on to this.
Recognize what triggers off the urge, make preparations beforehand to avoid the situation, fority the mind with Jesus related thoughts, use another spiritual substitute to combat stress,
renew commitment to God, get a prayer partner. Hebrews 10:26 is a tough truth with consequences if he is delibertly throwing to the wind his new walk in Christ with God. But if he is repentant then there is evidence he is still being sensitive to the convicting voice of the Holy Spirit. Even if he is smoking on the sly at present, please get him to fellowship with church service, praying, bible reading, talking about what he has read, praying with you, listening to healthy sound christian music and singing himself. Reaching out to others in some mission work is very theraputic if you can mangage that for him. But please get him to realize that 'as he is' when he is to coming to Jesus and the fellowship of believers, and with relaxing in trust to the love of Jesus he will experience the grace of God to overcome and the change will take place.
I will pray for you and your husband to have victory in this.
...with love from me to you..
the Joan
P.s.
Oh, yes I just had an after thought...he will have to go through, most likely, a three day of discomfort when he decides to stop again. If he gets irritated do remember to hold your tongue and let him let off steam no matter how he gets angry at something or says accusing things. To help this detoxification go better see to it that he drinks 12 glasses of water during the day and five pieces of fruit at least. And give him a hug from me if he really truely stops drinking his coffee. It also is a cig stimulate suggestive element.