Author Topic: Personal Testimonies  (Read 72755 times)

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colporteur

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Re: Personal Testimonies
« Reply #340 on: July 13, 2009, 11:22:08 AM »
That's great John. I'm jumping up and down in side for you. Nothing like burning those bridges. I remember how I did similarly with my deep freeze full of pork, ( a whole hog) then a few months later my beef, pheasant ,deer, and fish. Then a few years late it was the cheddar and milk etc.. I remember when I sold all my guns and then a few years later a few hundred $$ worth of fishing equipment. Who would have ever dreamed we could be so much changed.  I too remember ditching the tv. Of course my mother bought me a another one. This time though it was/ is hooked to nothing and plays only Walter Veith, Inspirational and nature videos and such and then only sparingly.

    I believe when we burn those bridges the waters part before us.
It's easier to slow a fast horse down than to get a dead one going.

Colleenhf

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Re: Personal Testimonies
« Reply #341 on: March 19, 2010, 06:36:28 PM »
Its a bit scary to share ones testimony...I praise God for what he has done for me and yet I  wonder why he hasn't answered my one specific prayer.  I ask for prayer for my husband and now I begin my testimony:
My mother and father and extended family were all SDA's.   My father died when I was 5 and it emotionally traumatized me so much that I have amnesia for the time of age 7 and under.  I have emotional difficulties in regards to being left...I am terrified of being left by friends, family, etc.  I remember nothing of my father except for what family tell me and pictures I see of him.  My mother married again within a year of my father passing...she married a non SDA...he was an alcoholic catholic who promised to study and become an SDA which he did...but he never gave up his drinking.  As a little girl I remember him to be kind when he didn't drink but before my teens things changed.  He'd drink and hide it and as time progessed into my teens he'd try to be sexual with me but never forced himself and I praise God for it...I only have memories of sexual but not "intimate" things.   He would kick holes in walls of our home.  I was always on edge if he would hit someone or try to come into my room for other reasons.   He held my mother down on the floor one day and she screamed for me to go get help from the neighbor and he said if I left the house I could never come back.  I was still in high school....I went to the neighbors and they helped my mom.   My mother stayed with this man who I had to call father.
I was so happy when I could leave home for college.
I met my husband Ray in high school...and SDA "day" school in Portland.  Ray was exciting...and took me away from things at home and he understood and empathized with my home problems.   His mother had committed suicide a year or so before I met him.  We clicked.   We both went to WWC.
One day my mom got a phone call asking if I was home...that Ray had crashed a plane and they thought I was with him.   Fortunately I had not flown with him that time and he escaped without injury.....the plane totaled but never caught on fire after being feuled for flight back to WWC.  At that time Ray believed it was a miracle...and so did I.   Ray is a wonderful caring guy who rescued me from my situation and eventually in college we married.   I became an RN and Ray an MD.
Ray taught Junior division in college at LLUMC church...but eventually he came to no longer believe in the SDA philosophy and quit church....even to the point of asking to have his membership removed from church records...despite my request for him to leave it on the books.. as he may change his mind.
We had 2 sons...Ray was always and continues to be very good to me...never unkind in any manner.
When we had our sons and Ray had set up practice in MT..he told me if I took the kids to church he would teach them atheism.    I went to church but no one there seemed to care, they would criticize my children for being rambunctious.  I tried to "connect" with someone there but just could find no one.
I begged the pastor to come give bible studies to my boys as I would like them baptised but he never came.  the pastor never visited and I eventually just faded away from church.
I do remember however events where I believe God helped me divinely and I cling to these memories....one of which I went to Glacier Park to pick up my oldest son from "camp". He was about 11   I had the younger boy, 7 in tow and on our way home...the truck just wouldn't work right...I would put on the gas and the engine would get slower and slower til it seemed like I could only go about 10 miles/hr.   I told the boys I we needed to pray that God would get us someplace safe because there are miles and miles between cities in MT.  I was terrified of being stuck alone with 2 small boys out on the prairie.    I continued driving slowly and the vehicle made it into a small town and basically stopped in front of a auto mechanic!  I praised God and the mechanic even happened to have the part the vehicle needed which was a miracle in itself!!  A few hours later I was headed on home to GT Falls with a good engine!  My oldest boy remembers this still.
But I was having problems at home, not with physical issues or love...but because I couldn't or seemed to not be able to practice my SDA upbringing which I believed.  And I felt and continue to feel a distance from my husband since we no longer believed the same philosophy of religion.
My husbands brother committed suicide at this time in Canada and strangely I was the one to fall into deep depression.  I was begun on prozac and I too felt as Linda that I might harm my children...I felt a voice telling me to.  I talked with my psychiatrist about this but he felt it was due to my deep depression not being controlled yet and he wanted to put me into the hospital for monitoring but my husband said he would watch me 1:1 which he did and those feelings/thoughts passed.   But I was still in deep dispair.
I pleaded with God if he would spare me I would teach the boys the SDA beliefs.  I pleaded my life for theirs....I "bargained with God" and to this day I ask forgiveness for this.
I got better and I taught my sons the best I could alone but they were also taught atheism, agnostic, diestic beliefs by their dad.
I feel I let God down, I didn't keep my end of the bargain to raise my boys as SDA's and have had depression all my life.
I toyed with divorce but don't and didn't believe a non believing spouse is grounds for divorce.
In college my eldest son was reached by a campus crusade that came through college and he told me he believed what I had taught him was correct...that Saturday is the Biblical Sabbath and he wanted to be baptized.    So late in later life he was baptised in his 20's and was on fire until a friend he met asked him if he paid tithe and then yelled at him for not paying tithe.  Now my older son doesn't go to church despite my discussions with him on tithe.
My younger son believes as my husband does now which I'm not sure what it is but I think Diesm is close.   I continue to feel I let my "end of the bargain" down with God.
Anyways....
When the kids were teens we drove from MT to Oregon for family visit and went by way of scenic route through Idaho.  And on a winding road, very winding, we were going back home when on our right side was the river with embankment down to the river and on the left side was cliff going up.   Here comes 2 semi trucks down this winding road.  My husband says they are going way too fast....the first one passed and the 2nd jackknifed into our lane and it was so fast...but we swerved to the the R, the river side where there was no road and the semi was in our lane but never hit us.
My husband continued a bit til there was road to pull over and he was so shaken he could not drive.
I looked back and said there was no road there for us to go on...and it brings tears still to me...
God had upheld our vehicle somehow as there was nothing for it to be on other than the river.
I said Ray....that was a miracle!   My boys witnessed this.   My husband could not drive for at least 15 minutes regrouping ourselves as we were both physically shaking.   I said again...don't you think that was a miracle...look there is no side or road we could have been on.   He said yes..maybe.
So life continues on..he a non believer and I finally in my 40's said to him I am going to church whether you want me to or not.    He softened and agreed to this but by this time our boys were not home anymore.   I am active now in our church....
I talk to Ray about end times..and how I believe we are in them.   I plan on getting a greenhouse and a woodstove/cooking stove installed this summer.   He agrees its a good thing to do...not because of
religious beliefs but because this country could be in a financial crisis soon and it would be good to be able to be self sufficient if we have to be.
I asked him...if the Sunday Laws came in would you believe then?   He says he'd have to re evaluate all he believes if that happened.   
Please please pray for him and my younger son.
I have so many "little" things that have happened over my lifetime that Ray has witnessed that Ray now calls me the "protected" one.   He sees how God has done such simple things as provide front row parking when there is nothing available...because I say we will go around again and God will provide and he does!
I have been pleading with God to give Ray a personal life changing encounter via dreams or whatever God knows will work.  But times continues and Ray still does not believe.
But I believe and know my God is with me and I know my God forgives me for the stupid things I have done in the past and asked forgiveness for.



Mimi

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Re: Personal Testimonies
« Reply #342 on: March 19, 2010, 06:49:45 PM »
Oh, Colleen! What trials. Your presence in your home has a sanctifying effect on your husband. Never forget it. Cling to Jesus, dear sister. Don't let go of Him even when the most discouraging things appear on your door. Your dear Ray will see more and more end-time events and he will remember the things of his childhood. He will remember Sabbath School and the prophetic studies that were taught all around him. It may be the Sunday Law or it may be something else that pierces these memories in his mind, but they will be brought to his remembrance.

Colleen, you have a group of committed friends here and I know you have them where you are. Pray earnestly with them - those you trust. Take hold of their faith when yours is weak - it will strengthen you. Thank you for sharing your testimony. It gives all of us hope. Jesus will never, ever forsake us. 
  For ever, O LORD, thy word is settled in heaven. Psalm 119:89 

Kelsy

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Re: Personal Testimonies
« Reply #343 on: March 19, 2010, 07:03:54 PM »
Colleen what Sybil has said is so true...regardless of what your husband vocalizes, you do not know the turmoil his mind is suffering...he is slowly being convicted...ask the Lord to give you the kind of love that Jesus has for him...that you may express it to him....sometimes the spouse is secretly jealous of the faith of the other spouse...as they do not understand why their spouse has it...and they did not experience it the same way...I cannot adequately express....what I mean......he may have a feeling that you were favored...

Vicki

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Re: Personal Testimonies
« Reply #344 on: March 19, 2010, 07:29:56 PM »
Colleen, my prayers are added to yours. God hears and will do all in His power to save your loved ones. Stay strong, dear sister, all those prayers He has answered already are also working on convicting your husband.

Richard Myers

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Re: Personal Testimonies
« Reply #345 on: March 19, 2010, 09:18:23 PM »
Thank you for sharing, dear Sister Colleen. God is indeed with you and He does forgive you.

I have so many "little" things that have happened over my lifetime that Ray has witnessed that Ray now calls me the "protected" one. 

Such a blessing to know that God has protected you so many times, and that your husband knows it also. What he has not figured out is that he too, is protected. God has kept him alive for a reason. We will add Ray to our prayers, dear sister. And your son. God knows what happened when he was young. He will contend with him that is contending with you and save your child as you abide in Him and pray for his salvation. He has free will, but God has so much that He can do when we pray. It allows Him to do what He otherwise would not do.

You have been through a lot, but we can see that it has brought you closer to Jesus. We truly can glory in our tribulation! What is your younger son's name? If we may pray for him by name.

Jesus receives His reward when we reflect His character, the fruits of the Spirit......We deny Jesus His reward when we do not.

Colleenhf

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Re: Personal Testimonies
« Reply #346 on: March 19, 2010, 10:41:47 PM »
Thank you all for your comments and prayers.  My younger son is Daniel and my older son is Ryan.   Truly, you don't know how much I appreciate your prayers on behalf of my family.
And knowing God will never leave me is so comforting...Colleen

Sister Dee

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Re: Personal Testimonies
« Reply #347 on: March 20, 2010, 02:38:31 PM »
I will be praying for your family as well, Colleen. 

Cop

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Re: Personal Testimonies
« Reply #348 on: September 26, 2016, 06:12:29 AM »
Often when I am alone with my wonderful LORD, I meditate upon His perfections, upon His unmatched character. Very few of those who only occasionally read the Bible are aware of the awe-inspiring and worship-provoking grandeur of His divine character. That God is great in wisdom, wondrous in power, yet full of mercy, by many it is thought to be almost common knowledge of what His character is like. But, to grasp anything approaching a true ideal of His being, His nature, and His attributes, as these are revealed in Holy Scripture, is something which very, very few people in these degenerate times have attained unto. God is solitary in His excellency. “Who is like unto Thee, O LORD, among the gods? who is like Thee, glorious in holiness, fearful in praises, doing wonders?” (Exo 15:11).

"Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever Thou hast formed the earth and the world, even from everlasting to everlasting, Thou art God." (Ps. 90:2).  Before there was anything in existance in the whole universe, before any star burned in space, there was God...HE existed. “In the beginning God” (Gen 1:1). There was a time when God in the unity of His nature (though subsisting equally in three divine persons), dwelt all alone. “In the beginning God.” There was no heaven, where His glory is now revealed to all of the unfallen universe. There was no earth to engage His attention. There were no angels to sing His praises; no universe to be upheld by the word of His power. There was nothing, no one, but God; and that, “from everlasting.” During eternity past, God was alone: self-contained, self-sufficient, self-satisfied,; in need of nothing. Had a universe, had angels, had human beings been necessary to Him in any way, they also would have been called into existence from all eternity. The creating of them when He did so, added nothing to God. He had no need of anything else. He was complete in Himself. Though He alone was in existance, He was complete in love. He changes not (Mal 3:6), therefore His glory can be neither added to, nor diminished.

Why did God create anything...especially sinful, unfaithfull Man? He tells us: "for I have created him for My glory. I have formed him; yea I have made him." (Isa. 43:7). For His glory do we exist! God was under no constraint, no obligation, no necessity to create. That He chose to do so was purely a sovereign act on His part, caused by nothing outside Himself, determined by nothing but His own mere good pleasure; for He “worketh all things after the counsel of His own will” (Eph 1:11). That He did create was simply for His glory. “Stand up and bless the LORD your God for ever and ever: and blessed be Thy glorious name, which is exalted above all blessing and praise” (Neh 9:5). God gains nothing even from our worship. He was in no need of that external glory of His grace which arises from His redeemed on earth or from all the unfallen worlds, for He is glorious enough in Himself without that. What was it that moved Him to predestinate His elect to the praise of the glory of His grace? It was, as Ephesians 1:5 tells us, “according to the good pleasure of His will.”

 At the end of Romans 11, where the Paul brings to a close his long argument on salvation by pure and sovereign grace, he asks, “For who hath known the mind of the Lord? Or who hath been His counselor? Or who hath first given to Him, and it shall be recompensed unto him again?” (vv. 34-35). The truth of this is, it is impossible to bring the Almighty under obligations to the creature; God gains nothing from us. “If thou be righteous, what givest thou Him? Or what receiveth He of thine hand? Thy wickedness may hurt a man as thou art; and thy righteousness may profit the son of man” (Job 35:7-8), but it certainly cannot affect God, who is all-blessed in Himself. “When ye shall have done all those things which are commanded you, say, We are unprofitable servants” (Luke 17:10)—our obedience has profited God nothing.

Our Lord Jesus Christ added nothing to God in His human existance on earth, either by what He did or suffered. True, blessedly and gloriously true, He manifested the glory of God to us, but He added nothing to God. He Himself declares so, and there is no appeal from His words: “My goodness extendeth not to Thee” (Psa 16:2). The whole of that Psalm is a Psalm of Christ. Christ’s goodness or righteousness reached unto His saints in the earth (v.3), but God was high above and beyond it all. God only is “the Blessed" One (Mark 14:61).

It is true that God is both honored and dishonored by men; not in His being, but in His  character. It is also true that God has been “glorified” by creation, by providence, and by redemption. This we can not and dare not dispute in the least. But all of this has to do with His manifest glory and the recognition of it by us. Yet had God so pleased He might have continued alone for all eternity, without making known His glory unto creatures. Whether He should do so or not was determined solely by His own will. He was perfectly blessed in Himself before the first creature was called into being. "Behold, the nations are as a drop of a bucket, and are counted as the small dust of the balance: behold, He taketh up the isles as a very little thing. And Lebanon is not sufficient to burn, nor the beasts thereof sufficient for a burnt offering. All nations before Him are as nothing ; and they are counted to Him less than nothing, and vanity. To whom then will ye liken God? or what likeness will ye compare unto Him? (Isa 40:15-18). This is the God of Holy Scripture; but, He is still “the unknown God” (Acts 17:23) to the multitudes who reject or deny Him.
 
"It is He that sitteth upon the circle of the earth, and the inhabitants thereof are as grasshoppers; that stretcheth out the heavens as a curtain, and spreadeth them out as a tent to dwell in: that bringeth the princes to nothing; He maketh the judges of the earth as vanity (Isa 40:22,23). In the New Testament we read, “Which in His times He shall shew, who is the blessed and only Potentate, the King of kings, and Lord of lords: Who only hath immortality, dwelling in the light which no man can approach unto; whom no man hath seen, nor can see: to whom be honour and power everlasting. Amen” (I Tim 6:15,16). Such an One is to be revered, worshipped, adored. He is solitary in His majesty, unique in His excellency, peerless in His perfections. He sustains all, but is Himself independent of all. He gives to all, but is enriched by none.
 
In the widest thoughts of Man, could we ever invent a god like unto the LORD? He is far beyond all imagination! "O God, who is like unto Thee!"  He had no need of us or our weak, sin tainted devotions and worship to make Himself complete. Yet, He gave us existance and grace that we should be able to become like Him in character through faith in the righteousness of Christ. O, how I love Him! How can we all not love Him with our deepest devotion?  Let us praise Him with all heavenly creatures! "Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created." (Re. 4:11).  Let us strive to please Him in all that we do.

If God has our love, he has our all; and God never has what he deserves from us, until He has our love. True love withholds nothing from Christ, when it is sincerely set upon Him. If we actually love him, he will have our everything, our very lives, whenever he calls for them. In the same way, when God loves any of us, he will withhold nothing from us that is good for us. He does not hold back his own only begotten Son, Rom.8:32. When Christ loves us, he gives us everything we need-- his merits to justify us, his Spirit to sanctify us, his grace to adorn us, and his glory to crown us. Therefore, when any of us love God sincerely, we lay everything down at his feet, and give up all to be at his command and service: "And they loved not their lives unto the death," Rev. 12:11.

Come soon, dear LORD...O please come soon!
My religious belief teaches me to feel as safe in battle as in bed. God has fixed the time for my death. I do not concern myself about that, but to be always ready, no matter when it may overtake me....That is the way all men should live, and then all would be equally brave."
— Stonewall Jackson