Lesson 10 June 1-7
Little Times of Trouble Commentary in Navy Inspiration in Maroon
Sabbath AfternoonRead for This Week’s Study: Matt. 7:5; Eph. 1:7; Phil. 2:4-8; Eph. 4:26, 27; James 1:19, 20; Col. 3:19; Matt. 7:12.
Memory Text: “Be angry, and do not sin’: do not let the sun go down on your wrath” (Ephesians 4:26, NKJV).
Even the best of homes will face times of struggle, times of conflict. It’s just one of the facts of life in a fallen world. Simple things, such as whose turn it is to take out the trash, or whether your teenage daughter finished her homework, or your son has done his chores, are bothersome but relatively minor issues that can, generally, be resolved with minimal disruption. But other issues can threaten to disrupt family life. The mother-in-law whose abuse and manipulation threatens to destroy a woman’s marriage and her health; the father with mental illness who abuses his children; the son who abandons all his religious upbringing to give himself to a promiscuous lifestyle; or the daughter who becomes a substance abuser.
Repeatedly in the New Testament we are told to love one another (John 13:34, Rom. 12:10), to live in peace and harmony with one another (Rom. 15:5, Heb. 12:14), to be patient, kind, and tenderhearted toward one another (1 Cor. 13:4), to consider others before ourselves (Phil. 2:3), and to bear one another’s burdens (Eph. 4:2). Of course, all this is easier said than done, even with our own family members. In this lesson, we will look at some ways to help mollify little times of trouble, especially in the family.
Study this week’s lesson to prepare for Sabbath, June 8.
Sunday ↥ June 2
ConflictRead Matthew 7:5 and Proverbs 19:11. What two important principles can help us avoid conflict with others?
The writer of the Proverbs makes a very astute observation: “The start of an argument is like a water leak —so stop it before real trouble breaks out” (Prov. 17:14, CEV). Once begun, a conflict can become incredibly hard to shut down. According to Romans 14:19, we can prevent conflict by following after two things: that which makes for peace and that with which one may edify another. How much more so are these principles crucial to harmony in the family?
Sometimes when you admit your responsibility in a conflict, it may cause the other party to soften. Take a step back and consider if it’s even a worthy battle. Proverbs states, “Those with good sense are slow to anger, and it is their glory to overlook an offense” (Prov. 19:11, NRSV). At the same time, consider what difference this is going to make in your life in three days. Better yet, what impact will it have in five or ten years? How many marriages, for instance, have had difficult times over issues that today seem so trivial?
Instead of letting conflict drag on for a long time, as you speak with the other person, a spouse, a child, a friend, a co-worker, you may want to clearly define the problem or issue of discussion and stay on the immediate topic. Conflict often deteriorates when the issue that started the conflict gets lost in angry words; meanwhile, past issues or past hurts are tossed into the mix (this can be deadly, especially to a marriage). One way to have a better and softer start to the discussion is to affirm your relationship. Let the other person know that you care deeply about them and about your relationship. Once you have stated your positive feelings, you can move to the issue at hand; however, be careful not to use the word but. Stating a positive thought and then saying “but” negates what you just stated. Once you share your feelings, listen to the other person’s perspective, reflect on what he or she has said, and only then propose a solution that keeps everyone’s best interests in mind (Phil. 2:4, 5).
Think back about some conflicts that now appear so silly and meaningless. What can you learn from those experiences that could help, at least from your side, prevent something similar from happening again?
Monday ↥ June 3
Some Principles for Marriage
Marriage, like the Sabbath, is a gift of God to humanity that goes back to Eden. And, as Seventh-day Adventists, we know what the enemy of souls has done, and is still doing, to both the Sabbath and to marriage. Even the best of marriages are, at times, going to suffer from conflict.
What follow are a few principles that can help couples work through these issues.
Read Ephesians 1:7. What crucial principle is found here that must be part of any marriage?
You must learn to forgive, especially when your spouse doesn’t deserve it. Anyone can forgive the deserving: in fact, that’s hardly forgiveness. True forgiveness is forgiving those who don’t warrant it, the way the Lord forgives us through Christ. We must do likewise. Otherwise, our marriage, if it survives (which isn’t likely), will seem like purgatory.
Read Romans 3:23. What crucial principle is found here as well?
You must accept that you’re married to a sinner, to a being who has been damaged to some degree emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Get used to it. Accept your spouse’s faults. Pray your way through them. You might have to live with those faults, but you don’t have to obsess over them. If you do, they will eat you alive. A holy and perfect God, through Christ, accepts us as we are: you, who are hardly holy and perfect, must do the same with your spouse.
Read Philippians 2:4-8. What important principle here, as well, can we use that can help us, not just in marriage, but in all potentially troublesome relationships?