Friday May 10
Further Thought: “Marriage has received Christ’s blessing, and it is to be regarded as a sacred institution. True religion is not to counterwork the Lord’s plans. God ordained that man and woman should be united in holy wedlock, to raise up families that, crowned with honor, would be symbols of the family in heaven. And at the beginning of His public ministry Christ gave His decided sanction to the institution that had been sanctioned in Eden. Thus He declared to all that He will not refuse His presence on marriage occasions, and that marriage, when joined with purity and holiness, truth and righteousness, is one of the greatest blessings ever given to the human family”. – Ellen G. White, Daughters of God, pp. 180, 181.
Amen! But, what if marriage is not joined with "purity and holiness, truth and righteousness." Then what? We see the results in the church today. The divorce rate is what it is in the world. What can be done to change this? It would help if pastors would teach what it means to join marriage with "purity and holiness." Many do not teach that it is possible to pure or holy, or righteous. Thus, we find individuals in a marriage who are not walking in the light of God's truth, making excuses for their sins. They have been taught and believe that Romans chapter seven is the Christian experience. That we do that which we ought not do, and we do not do that which we ought to do. They believe that the converted Christian remains a captive to the law of sin which is in their members. Thus the marriage is bound to fail because they think they are rich and increased with goods and in need of nothing, thinking they have eternal life while sinning.
As the Song of Solomon showed, sexual love can be a wonderful thing in marriage. But a lasting relationship cannot be based simply on the outward beauty and physical delights. Our bodies age and decay, and no amount of diet, exercise, or plastic surgery will keep us looking forever young. Solomon and the Shulamite’s marriage is a lifelong, committed relationship. Three times they affirm that they belong to each other (Song of Sol. 2:16, 6:3, 7:10). The first time it’s a recognition of mutual ownership (compare with Eph. 5:21, 33). The second time she reverses the order in affirmation of her submission (also Eph. 5:22, 23). The third time it expresses his desire for her (Eph. 5:24-32). Love like this cannot be drowned (Song of Sol. 8:7), it’s like a seal that cannot be broken (Song of Sol. 8:6).
A marriage based on outward beauty will not bring happiness because Christ is not there. It makes no difference even if the beauty remained for hundreds of years. Christ must have the heart before we can love unselfishly. And, without unselfish love, there will not be the love that all desire. Greed will not bring the happiness that unselfish love brings into a marriage relationship.
Discussion Questions:
How does Solomon’s description of his wife as perfect (Song of Sol. 4:1-5, 6:8, and 7:1-9) compare to Adam’s expression when he first saw Eve? (Gen. 2:23, CEV). How should husbands then relate to their own wives? (Eph. 5:28, 29).
Husbands ought to be more concerned with character than with perfection of physical beauty. " In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works." 1 Timothy 2;9, 10. Proverbs tells us what a husband ought to value in a wife: "Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price [is] far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life." 31:10-12.
Some have seen in the book of Song of Solomon an allegory of the relation that exists between God and His people or between Jesus and His church. While one must be careful to not over-allegorize, what features of the relationship between these two people can be compared to our relationship with God? Also compare to Isa. 54:4, 5; Jer. 3:14; 2 Cor. 11:2.
The loveliness of Jesus who reflects the character of our heavenly Father is such that when we know Him, we will love Him with a love that far surpasses a human love. Why? Because God does not change. He can be counted on no matter what. God is God and worthy of our love. It ought to surpass all else. "He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me." Matthew 10:37. The relationship seen in the Song of Solomon does indeed express God's love for us and how we ought to love Him. We can look at this relationship in two ways. If we have a marriage where two people love Jesus supremely, then we can better understand God's love for us. If we want to know what a marriage ought to be like, then let us consider how God loves us.
Read Proverbs 31:26, Song of Solomon 5:16, and Proverbs 25:11. How important are our words in tearing down or building up our spouse and weakening or strengthening our marriage? Use the following texts as further illustration: James 1:26, 3:5-11.
We need to understand who we are and our great need of Christ at all times. We are evil by nature. Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. Who has the heart? If Christ has it, then the words we speak with be uplifting. If the heart is not fully given to Christ, then the carnal heart will reveal something else. We cannot bridle the tongue. Do we understand this? We cannot fake a love we do not have. If self is alive, if the heart is carnal, if we do not love Jesus with the whole heart, then our words will come from a selfish motive. What will this do to a marriage relationship? We are either a savor of life unto life, or of death unto death. Do we understand this? Or do we remain in a Laodicean condition wherein we have no spiritual discernment? If we are not fully surrendered to Jesus, then we will not be able to be a strength to anyone including the one we love. We need Jesus all of the time in order to reflect Him all the time. And, if we know we are not in Christ, then we ought to keep the mouth closed.