You are right, Won, Women have been terribly mistreated. And at times men have used the Bible to excuse their unkind and un-Christian behavior. The devil is clever in bringing reproach upon God's Word and His church. When we read all of Scripture, we find that men are not to lord it over their wives. To the contrary, they are to love their wives and are to be as servants to them, just as Christ is a Servant unto us, even though He is the head of the church.
Ephesians
5:21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
5:24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
5:26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
5:27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
5:28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
I do not know how to answer your question about what goes on in the world in regards to roles for men and women. I know that there is a carry over, for women ought not be doing the killing in war. Israel went to war, and it was not to be with the women fighting. I think that there is a role difference for men and women. Where that line is to be drawn in the world, I do not know. And, yes, I know that we have an example of a woman in battle in the Old Testament, just as we see a woman judge. Both are exceptions because men did not do what they ought to have done.
When a woman owns a business, she ought to be able to hire men as well as women. That puts her in a position of leadership over men if men choose to work for her. That is their choice.
In the world, if I were a woman owner of a store, or manager in a business, I would not "rule" over a man. I would kindly ask for help. In the end, the woman owner is responsible for the decisions, but she can do so in a womanly manner. This is contrary to the world, Won. There is no gentle loving interaction in the world as there ought to be in the church. I think this is the main concern that God has. Where is the love and respect. Because a woman is not to rule over a man does not mean that a man is to lord it over a woman. No, that has been all wrong. And in fact, a man is not to lord it over a man either. This has been the case all too often. It is not Christian character to do so. When Jesus is in the heart, then we not only reveal love for our friends, but we manifest Christian love for those who despitefully use us. This is the truth.
Let's take one more look at the world to address your concern about women who manage men in the workplace. I do not personally have a problem with it, but it is not exactly in line with the general flow of things. Women have one of the most important roles given to mankind, the rearing of children. If this were seen as such, we would not see so many women in the workplace. Now, Paul says that it is good for a woman to not marry. Then there would be no children to rear. What would the woman do instead? Paul states that by not marrying the woman could then devote her life to Christ. That would seem to place the woman full time in the church, not in the workplace of the world.
Well....let's place her in a position of ruling over men in the church workplace. Now, we see where the world has come into the church. There is a mighty work to be done by women in the church. But, she ought not usurp the authority of a man. Not my words, but Paul's. And the reason is given in 1 Timothy.
Let me give one last thought in this area which may leave some questions unanswered. We do not see all perfectly, do we? Authority may run a little deeper than we have thought. We each are responsible for what we believe. That is a God given freedom and responsibility, liberty of conscience. But, if we do not follow the beliefs of the church we may not be granted membership. That does not step on my freedoms, even though some would say it does. They do not understand, for it is taken at face value we have a responsibility to make a minimum standard for baptism.
So, how about the authority women have to teach? Is there any authority given in this area? I believe so. I think that the elders in a church are responsible for the spiritual condition of the church. As such they ought to teach the adult Sabbath School lesson. There are many cases where it is better for a women to do so, but it ought not be. Men have failed too often and at times a woman must stand up and do that which is needed. The positions of elder and deacon are to be occupied by men, not women. If the elders need a woman to help teach the adult Sabbath School class, then what authority does she have? She has the authority given to her by the elders and the church. Is she working independently of the elders? No, not at all. She is responsible to them for what she is teaching. Are they to lord it over her? No, but if she loves God with her whole heart, she will take her teaching serious and will feel her need of guidance from the elders. The authority she is granted is an extension of the authority of the elders to teach.
We are altogether too independent of each other. We are to submit one to another in love and respect. As a "teacher" I am under great obligation to listen to what others say when they disagree with what I teach. I am an erring human being. We do not want to be wrong in what we teach, we need the help of others to better understand God's truth. There is safely in a multitude of counselors, both men and women. A man who closes his ears to what a woman says is not walking in the light of Scripture. A woman who insists upon her right to teach men will find that her life is not filled with joy.
There are some women in managerial roles in the church that I have great respect for. These are very wise and manifest not only Christian character, but womanly character. They do not attempt to usurp the authority of the spiritual leadership of men. In their God given wisdom, they rely upon the wisdom given to men.
One last example. In the home a woman may have education in a certain area that gives her knowledge the husband does not have. Does that make her the final decision maker? No. She gives that information to her husband and he, if he is wise, will yield to her wisdom. The two are to work together, but according to the Bible we understand that he is ultimately responsible for what happens. If he trusts her wisdom, he is still responsible for the outcome.
Won, I don't know that I have answered your question very well, but have honestly tried. I am surely open to hearing what you have to say. I want to follow Jesus and His word.